This was initially a Facebook post that seemed to resonate with many, so I copied it verbatim here. It was posted before all of the details of the shooting emerged, while the city was reeling as the news rolled in. See here for the follow-up post. If you or someone you know has been affected by the ripples of a school shooting, please feel free to use this resource to help you and others understand the thoughts and feelings you may be experiencing.
Too close to home. This was an altercation between two students. There’s no indication at the present time that it was a hate crime, like the Kroger shooting or the Synagogue shooting this past weekend. Does that make it better? A life was lost. So what’s at the root of all of this? Guns? Hate? A dangerous lack of compassion and coping mechanisms? Bingo.
I’d argue that it all comes down to trauma. Without the proper support and self-awareness, one who has been traumatized often traumatizes others, knowingly or not. When revenge forms the groundwork of human interaction (as opposed to interconnectivity and a desire to learn) we quickly spiral into an eye-for-an-eye world, which is where we’re at.
So now we’ll do what we always do after these things happen; we sift through the wreckage of human suffering that remains, trying to help those left standing find some ounce of peace. The victims, the friends and family of the victims, the witnesses. We hold space for them to mourn this horrifying truth. Then we leave them. And we need to keep doing better. We need to teach compassion and conflict resolution. We need to stop blaming, and start understanding. We need to start listening. That doesn’t mean we have to placate everyone (or anyone), but we MUST listen.
It’s easy to “hate” a shooter with a racist or religious motive. The world sobs and we collectively cry, “Death penalty! Kill them!” Eye-for-an-eye. We don’t know this kid’s story yet. They brought a gun to school in anticipation of something. You don’t bring a gun to school if everything is hunky dory.
-If they were a victim of bullying who had finally had enough and felt they had nothing to lose, we’d collectively blame those who bullied them, and the school for not intervening.
-If they were African-American or Latino, we’d quietly chalk it up to “cultural violence” or “poverty”.
-If they were a white, upper-middle-class student, we’d mercilessly shame the parents and hope the kid rots in jail for eternity.
-If they were from any Middle-Eastern/Asian culture or religion, 1/3 of the world would blame the culture or religion of the student, 1/3 of the world would blame the oppressors of said culture/religion, and 1/3 of the world would be so conflicted, they’d go mute.
Ya feel me? We all know where this goes. Regardless of motives, we still have to do better. People are hurting deeply, and they’re forcing that hurt onto others.
Get. To the root. Of the trauma. Because I guarantee you, this will only continue if we don’t.
The Dura Mater 